In a previous article, What To Expect After a Divorce / Breakup, I listed the four (4) stages most people go through during and after a divorce or breakup.
Once you hit that final stage of acceptance, you begin to heal. Healing, however is a proactive process. You have to put conscious effort into letting go and looking ahead into creating a new future for yourself. Now that you have gotten out of that bad situation the path to healing and recovery begins. It may not be pleasant but it will be liberating and at the end you’ll be in a better place.
The feelings of depression, loss and loneliness may leave you feeling despair and thinking negative thoughts about yourself, your worth and your whole self-image. It is important that you don’t let this overpower your will to move forward.
Positive thinking comes easier for some people than for others, but anyone can learn to be more positive in outlook if they want to and are willing to practice.
Create a Support Group
The best way to keep yourself in a positive mental state is to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and think the best of you. This type of energy is more essential for you to rebuild your self-worth and self-identity
One of the things couples lose in a relationship is self-identity. A lot of couples fall into codependency and when they have to break away from such relationship, the process of rebuilding a new identity will seem almost impossible, mostly because their old self was built around their partner’s needs and their roles in the relationship. To move on, you have to rediscover yourself, your likes, your dislikes, your boundaries and create new expectations for yourself.
Try New Things
As you build a new identity and rediscover yourself, don’t be afraid to try new things and build new memories. Exploring interests, old and new, pulls one’s attention into the present, creates opportunities for creativity, meaningful social interaction and new relationships, and can even promote personal growth.
Schedule Reality Checks
Once in a while, you may find yourself slipping into negative thoughts, wishing for what is lost or wallowing in old memories. This is why you need to schedule reality checks to help you snap out of the past and look to the future. You can fix a date for it on your calendar to do something that reasserts your new goals and help you embrace the endless possibilities of building something beautiful with someone else.