Dear Mahogany,
I enjoy your blog posts and look forward to reading it daily. Down to my main problem, my boyfriend enjoys PDA and the sort but it’s not my thing, I’ve never tried it with my past lovers and they all understand I enjoy the intimacy being left in our privacy. But, my boyfriend loves kissing and touching me in public or smacking my ass. We have been dating for a year and four months now. He is perfect for me but I can’t come to terms with his public display of affection and now it’s been causing problems in our relationship of recent. He thinks I don’t love him enough and he keeps saying I won’t allow him be expressive with me when we get married.
I don’t want to lose him but I don’t know how best to convince him I love him and I have no one else in the picture other than him. Please help, I have said I would try it out but I don’t know how best to go about it.
Claire, 28

Dear Claire,
We appreciate your feedback on our post, thanks for reading and reaching out to us. Public display of affection may not seem like a big deal but it can greatly affect a relationship although it’s totally understandable not to be into PDA. You may feel like it’s an invasion of your privacy doing things you enjoy doing in your bedroom in the open and having people watch or make assumptions in their mind maybe due to the environment you find yourself in and you care about what people may say.
Relationships are all about understanding and communication. I want to believe that a relationship lasting that long would not have survived without communication and compromise. Talking to your boyfriend about your feelings would be a great way to start. Create a nice atmosphere and make sure he feels comfortable and loved before you bring it up. He needs to know why you feel the way you do about PDA and that there is no one else in the picture. You may need to be sincere with yourself about the reason you dislike PDA, sometimes even when we love we still try to make sure we don’t give it all and we have something to fall back on when things go wrong.
Trying out PDA for the first time does not mean you have to go all the way in, you may want to take things one step at a time. You can start by initiating holding of hands when you both go out, try doing what you may feel most comfortable enough doing. You both should try reaching a compromise in your relationship about limits you may not be comfortable crossing for now.
I hope you both come to a compromise that can make your relationship work. PDA takes time for some persons, don’t lose yourself trying to over step boundaries that may seem violating to you.
Much love as always,
Mahogany.

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