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Bdsm, kinks or rough sex has a tint of erotic spanking in it. Over the knee, tied up, tousled hair, facing down with ass up or whatever position you choose to stay in is perfect for spanking. Erotic spanking or paddling has been portrayed in pop cultures and movies and has gradually been warming its way into our consciousness. Movies like Fifty Shades of Grey and Submission has warmed our hearts into accepting erotica.
Most women like myself have constantly fantasized about being spanked but unfortunately we do not have a Christian Grey to buckle us over his knee and spank us silly. Also we are in a constant fear of being bludgeoned to death by asking a partner without fore knowledge of spanking.
Before trying out spanking, you should understand why it is loved by various people and why you want it. In as much as the idea of punishment does not sound completely appealing to some women, submissives enjoy the idea of being spanked by a dominant as a form of punishment. Spanking to others is enjoyable for role play and for others Spanking is fun because it serves as a sex drive during sex or just because it’s enjoyable being spanked.
If you are thinking about involving a bit of action in your sex life, then you need to do understand the art.
Communication

Communication is key for every relationship. Before trying this out with your partner, it’s advisable you know what your partner likes or doesn’t like. Springing up and spanking your partner without forewarning may be classified under abuse especially for a partner who has no idea about kinks.
Safe word
Like every form of bdsm activity, having an established safe word is important especially for beginners. It is important to establish a safe word and adhere to it. Remember that your partner’s pain tolerance level may differ from your previous partner and it takes time to have a high tolerance for pain. And choose words that are not sex ambiguous, like MARSHMELLO or BRUSHES and so on instead of words like YES, STOP, DON’T or NO. Your partner may be screaming YES/ STOP out of pleasure and not necessarily out of discomfort.

Clothed or nude?
For beginners, enduring a threshold a pain is easier with their clothes on, it is important to know about this before embarking in erotic spanking. Undressed is more sexual and exciting but clothed does not make it any less exciting and allows you endure the pain.
The tools
This is the tricky part of spanking. Hands are not the only instrument used in spanking. There are other tools like paddles, canes, whips, slappers, belts, crops and floggers etc. it is important you know the tools involved in spanking and understand the level of pain likely to be inflicted by the chosen tool. If in doubt, allow your partner begin with his hands.

Position
You can spank someone in almost any position, although the standing position is uncomfortable and not recommended. There are positions to choose from, bending over, having your partner lay you on his lap and spank you, staying in the doggy position or tangled up during sex. Whatever position you choose, make sure it’s comfortable enough for you.
The timing
Spanking should not take all day and should be replaced completely with lovemaking. A few spanks in between sexual activity is a booster. The frequency should be slow and calculated and should be allowed to build up to the wanted pace.

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