I am feeling pretty excited and jittery at the same time. I have decided to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of 13 months, I believe it’s worth the worth, he has been patient and caring and I’m finally ready to give it to him. The problem is that I’m quite scared of what’s going to happen, how painful would it be, will I enjoy it, what do I do to be able to enjoy my first time. I want it to be memorable.
Thanks for reaching out to us. I should start by saying welcome to the beginning of a sexual phase. And I’m excited that you came to this conclusion yourself and it wasn’t a forced decision. First time sex can be quite painful but having a partner who is patient and understanding can help you overcome that initial pain. In most cases, most women do not enjoy their first sex because they are jittery and are lost when it comes to understanding their bodies but there are various things to look out for before losing your virginity.
• Explore your body
It’s great knowing what turns you on before indulging in sexual pleasure for the first time, studying and exploring your body alone can help you direct your partner to parts of your body that gives you pleasure. Knowing what you want and directing your partner can help boost your confidence and guarantee an easy sail.
Normally during intercourse when you are fully turned on, the body lubricates itself which often signifies readiness. But, having sex for the first time does not mean you get dripping wet like the porn movies you see, foreplay helps to get the body in the mood for sex, great sex is not possible without relaxation and foreplay sets that pace.
• Protection, protection, protection,
You may not want to get started without this, I know you love and trust your partner but most cases of pregnancy and STIs are usually unplanned. Communicate with your partner beforehand on the form of protection to use. Condom or birth control pills should be considered, unless you are sure your partner is monogamous with you.
• Effort in pleasure will be more appreciated.
Pleasuring your partner for the first time is not always easy, you may be confused and scared at what to do but effort is what matters. Your partner is fully aware of your sexual inexperience and you don’t have to think because he is not shaking from orgasm while you are trying to give him a blow job means he doesn’t appreciate it. Effort is more appreciated in pleasure.
• Temper your expectations
First time sex does not leave your hair perfect, or your cheeks rosy or you screaming out in pleasure while you cum all over the place. Your partner may not be as perfect as your Hollywood crush when having sex for the first time with his virgin girlfriend, this is real life. Understand that your partner may be confused and scared of hurting you while trying to please you at the same time. Remember, practice, exploration and mutual understanding makes sex fun as time goes by.
• Don’t forget to breathe
I know how nervous and jittery you may be but don’t forget to take a deep breath occasionally to help calm your agitated nerves. This will relax your body and mind and put you in the act for the game. Relax and enjoy your sex.