Dear Mahogany, I always experience tension during sex.
Recently, I have noticed that I hold back a lot during sex. Instead of relaxing, I tense up a lot and become stiff. This has hindered me from enjoying sex as I should, it has also a restricted me from performing well in bed like I should. It is always frustrating every time my partner has to remind me to breathe during sex. I would really like to know if there is some sort of drug or exercise I can use to get over this sexual tension. Most times I result to drinking alcohol to the point where I am tipsy, before any form of sexual activity begins, but even alcohol deprives me of some of the experiences I should have. Because by the time the effects of the alcohol wears off, I cannot remember in details what just happened. Please help me.
Thank you for reaching out to us. There are a lot of detailed question I would like to ask concerning this issue.
- Have you been sexually abused before?
- Do you experience pain during sex?
- Is there enough foreplay before penetration?
Answers to these questions will help me ascertain and address the issue properly. If you have been sexually abused before, then the tension you are feeling during sex, is has a result of the fear, or the effect, of going through the traumatizing experience of sexual abuse.
If you experience pain during sex, this could be as a result of vaginismus, and that can be worked upon. Knowing you are about to experience pain would have you tensed up.
If foreplay is not enough before penetration, you will have a dry vagina, and this will cause painful penetration.
You can read more from the highlighted text, and I hope they are able to help you understand and also resolve the issue of tension during sex.