Dear Mahogany, my husband wants to leave me for another man.
It’s been 3 years since we got married, we don’t have any children because my husband kept telling me we needed to wait and get to know each other better. You see, our marriage was arranged. I come from the northern part of the country, and even though I am educated, it would have been a dishonor to my parents if I had objected to an arranged marriage.
For the past 3 years, sex with my husband has been out of obligation. There is no satisfaction and joy in it, and I also feel my husband just has sex with me for the same reason. At first I thought there was another woman. I wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been another woman, after all we barely knew each other before we got married.
Anyway, curiosity got the best of me and I started digging. One day, I took his phone while he was in the bathroom, but it was locked. So I waited for him to fall asleep and then I unlocked his phone with his finger print.
As a sharp girl, I went straight to his WhatsApp messages, his last message was to his best friend, this is someone I know well. To my horror, I found out that my husband and his best friend are gay partners, sharing nude pictures to one another, and even sex chatting.
They plan to travel to US and start a life there for themselves. It will be possible since they are children of some of the most influential people in the country. Please help me, what do I do? This will bring shame, not only to me but my family. I will also be blamed that I could not satisfy my husband in bed, hence he went to a man.
Please keep me anonymous.
Sorry you have to go through all that. First thing I would suggest that you get proof. I would suggest that you get a screen grab of the chat with his suspected gay partner, just for proof, you might not know when it would come in handy.
Next you need to communicate with someone you can trust, and who would be discreet. Like your mom or sister, someone you can share all this experience with and would stand by you.
Then you need to have a serious conversation with your husband about your suspicions. You don’t have to let him know that you have proof of the chat with his partners. Don’t get confrontational with him, but let him be the one to do the talking. Ensure you reach a kind of agreement that would favor you with him.
And if truly he wants to elope with his gay partner, then you should prepare to get a good lawyer that would handle divorce as discreet as possible, and in a way that it would favor you. If his family starts to give you trouble, then you can show them the chat proving that their son is gay and that he was planning to elope with his partner.
This way it’s a win, win situation for you.