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Dear Mahogany,
I’m a young girl in a committed relationship with a man. Our sex life is great too.

Recently, I started to notice I was attracted to women. Insanely attracted.
Like I would see a really pretty or attractive woman and i’d have a serious crush on her. I even compliment them.

2 weeks ago, this girl I just met came over to my house. We got talking and after seeing a movie, she kissed me.
It felt so good and I kissed her back. I enjoyed it and I didn’t want to stop. We ended up making out.

When she left, I began to feel guilty. My religion and culture doesn’t support lesbianism and frowns at same sex relationships. I love my boyfriend as well and I have no intentions of cheating but I can’t deny what I’m feeling.
I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out how I can kill my attraction towards women. I even started to avoid the girl I made out with but I think about her all the time. I sneak into her social media accounts just to look at her photos. She has reached out to me but I just wouldn’t talk to her after that incidence. I like her but I think it’s wrong.
I’m so confused. Please help me.

Sylvia, 20.


Dear Sylvia,

First of all, I want to assure you that it is okay to have sexual desires and attraction to women. It’s okay to be attracted to any gender, or to be any gender. What you need is the courage to overcome sexual repression and shame. Don’t be ashamed of your sexuality. Embrace it.

Also, you need to make up your mind about the importance of your relationship with your boyfriend. Did you promise to be monogamous? Some men do not frown at lesbian relationships. It can be a turn-on for them. However, do not discuss this directly. Ask him questions or drop hints and take note of his response. This would give you an idea about his views on bisexuals.

If you’re still thinking about the girl you made out with, reach out to her. Respond to her messages and suggest a meeting where both of you can talk. Tell her exactly how you feel. Communication is the key.

We would also advise that you should be cautious when expressing your feelings publicly towards women. We have anti gay laws in our country and we care about your safety and your freedom.

I hope this helps.

Love

Mahogany

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