Dear Mahogany, I am a virgin, but my libido is too high.

I am a 19 years old virgin, and I intend to keep my virginity till I am married. I am currently in the university, almost in my last year. I am so worried because I have noticed I have high libido. This is going to be a problem for me if I want to remain a virgin till I get married.

My libido is huge concerns for me, they affect me negatively. I hate the fact that when I see a cute guy I always get wet. I masturbate (clitoral stimulation) very often, so I’m always changing bed sheets and my roommates are beginning to ask questions.

I have huge fantasies about sex, in fact it almost all I can think of when I am not doing anything, so I masturbate. I fantasize about threesome and orgies, which I consider as wrong, and I hate myself.

I don’t have a boyfriend, because I know that would be the beginning of my problems. I do not watch porn, I know that’s only going to complicate matters for me. But I really don’t know what to do.

I think I might even be addicted to masturbation. What do I do?  I really need help, I want to stay a virgin till I get married. I try to avoid guys as much as possible because I get turned on easily. I don’t go to parties, I don’t do anything because I don’t know where or when a temptation might come.

How do I cut down my libido? How do I stop masturbating? How can I keep my virginity till I’m married? Is there a drug or therapy I can use to bring down my libido? Please help me.

– A virgin in distress.


Dear Virgin in distress,

There’s nothing wrong with you! Your libido is high because of all the hormonal changes your body is going through. This is absolutely normal, love.

At 19,as your body continues to change, your hormones will seem to be raging all the time. Don’t be surprised that some of your roommates are going through the same thing right now. But just like in adults, libido varies in teenagers as well.

On masturbation, this is a totally natural phenomena. Your body needs to find a way to release the pent up emotions caused by your heightened libido. Touching yourself is one of the better ways you can do this at your age.

What I am most concerned about, however, is your obsession with sex and the reasons behind your decision to remain a virgin.

If you are holding on to you hymen for the wrong reasons, it may explain your obsession with sex. What are your reasons for keeping your virginity?

Purity? The general myth surrounding the hymen is that it signifies purity in a woman. If this is one of your reasons, let me point out that purity is a state of mind and sex is far from “impure”. This is not to say you should get on the street and hop on the first man you see.

Reconsider your reasons for keeping your virginity. Reaffirm that they are good reasons and remind yourself every time you are faced with a temptation. It is not an easy decision to make, and like other types of serious commitment, you have to make that choice over and over again.

Love, 

Mahogany

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