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Sensate focus caress are sensuous touching exercises designed and aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self and other’s needs. Sensate focus caress are not sex acts, and they are not masturbation techniques but they are very pleasurable ways of making contact with yourself and exploring your body. They help you appreciate and control contact, arousal and release.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

You will need a quiet room, preferably one that is free of distractions like ringing telephones. You will also need a lubricant such as baby oil, massage oil, cream, or lube. Lube is usually the safest choice because it doesn’t irritate the genitals. Be especially careful to have clean hands, and keep a clean towel handy.

POSITION:

Sit or lie naked on a comfortable surface or chair. Close your eyes and let yourself relax, using a belly breathe to assist you.

BODY CARESS:

sensate body caressBegin full-body caresses by placing your fingertips on your body gently and focusing in on that point of contact. Slowly explore the surface of your body with your fingertips, always maintaining contact with some part of your body. Follow the point of contact wherever it moves; to your face, neck, shoulders, arms, etc. Focus on what you are physically feeling at this contact point. If your mind wanders off into a sexual fantasy or into daily realities like errands or checkbook balancing, gently bring your mind back to the sensation being created by your touch. Being touched in this manner is comforting and relaxing. Don’t massage, but rather keep to a light, constant motion. You can use long sweeping strokes or short ones try both styles to see what they do for you. Touch whatever you want in whatever order you want, but make sure to touch yourself all over. Breathe evenly and keep your eyes closed. As you touch, let your sensory awareness include temperature, texture, shape, and movement. If you find you are getting mechanical with your touch or getting bored, slow down. Chances are you aren’t letting yourself really be in the moment. Try cutting your pace even if you think it is super slow already in half. Remember always that your only goal here is to make yourself feel good. Continue this for at least ten or fifteen minutes.

 GENITAL CARESS:

The genital caress begins when you are ready to shift the focus of your attention and touch to your genital area. This is not an occasion for masturbation and orgasm is not the goal. Right now you just need to caress slowly so that you can learn what kind of touch feels best, and where it feels best. Be especially careful to have clean hands and add a touch of baby oil or other lubricant before you proceed. You may want to start by touching your breasts, stomach, or thighs, since they are all probably quite sensitive. Then slowly move to your inner thighs and outer vaginal lips. Keep your focus on what you are touching. Relax. Breathe. Next, slowly stroke your clitoris and the inner lips of your vagina. Feel their warmth and texture. Insert a finger into your vagina. Feel the warmth and texture of your vaginal walls. Let yourself explore and stay focused on the sensations. If you do become aroused, that’s fine, but this is not the goal right now. Don’t try not to make it happen, just allow what happens to happen. If your mind drifts, remember to gently bring your focus back to the caress. Caress slowly. After twenty or thirty minutes, you can end the exercise, but feel free to continue longer.

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