Everybody has bad days. Cranky days. We all get testy once in a while and often times, most of us find ourselves snapping at the people around us, even people we love. This is not the case with guys who beat their women.
1. Beaters do genuinely love their women.
To be factual, they are often obsessively in love with their girlfriends or wives, which makes them even more controlling — they just don’t know the proper way to express it. They most likely grew up around a lot of violence and they got used it.
2. Beaters have an intense need to control the women they love.
The most popular misconception about these guys is that they have “anger management” issues. They don’t. They rarely blow up at strangers or anyone else around them. Instead, they direct their overwhelming need to control to their loved ones — They want to control how she dresses, where she goes and whom she talks to.
Before they actually start using physical violence to stay in control, they are often constantly phoning and texting the object of their affections so they know exactly what she’s doing at all times.
3. When they apologize, it’s another way of taking control.
Guys who beat up their girlfriends can be dramatic when they are sorry — crying, begging for forgiveness and promising to never become violent again. They’ll shower you with gifts and attention. The apologies can seem so genuine that a battered girlfriend gets completely seduced back into forgetting.
4. They feel entitled to do it.
They believe they have the right to use whatever means necessary to take control of the situation. They aren’t ashamed of their behavior; they feel justified (i.e., “You deserved it — you were behaving like a slut”). They are not ashamed in front of your friends and family. They think the women asked for it.
5. Guys who beat their women are insecure and have poor self-control.
They can seem completely normal and stable sometimes. At work and in other public places, they can present themselves as completely nice guys and charm your socks off. It’s the fear of losing their girlfriend or being unable to control her that leads to the intense outbursts of rage and violence.
These five (5) truths about guys who beat their women are gotten from extensive research on done by psychologists and therapists around the world. The most common enabler of this men are the women who are their victims, which is why it is not uncommon to hear women in this situation say things like, “It was my fault” “I caused it” “He is not always like this”.
Helplines: For information or help in domestic abuse situations, call the lines below:
Federal Government of Nigeria Toll Free Number for Violation of Girls and Women – 080072732255